The Warubozu Usagi

Daily excerpts of dialog from Warubozu Usagi -- Tomorrow will be better than the next day

8:13 am

Near the fourth planet in the Praxia System

WU: Waifu.

S: Baka, I'm not your wife. Stop calling me “waifu”.

WU: [Swallowing food] Sorry, I was saying, “mouth full”.

S: I stand corrected. You're still baka, though.

WU: Hey now, I'm your captain. This is insubordination!

S: And if I were your waifu?

WU: ...

S: ...

WU: Do you want to be my waifu?

S: No, you idiot! Baaaka!

— The Warubozu Usagi

11:56 pm

On the fourth planet in the Praxia System

WU: Whew, that was a close call.

S: And whose fault was that?

WU: Hey now, landing a ship takes a crew. No one person is to blame, and anyway...

S: [eye roll] Oh sure. No one's to blame when it's your fault.

RP: Soooo, captain, is it the “crew's” fault for the blown FP-6200?

WU: Red, shut it.

S: Don't talk to him like that.

RP: What she said.

S: The “crew” ain't paying to fix the power generator. [points finger] That's coming out of your pocket.

WU: Again, I'm the captain and what I say is the final rule on this ship.

S: Oh, is it “our” ship, now?

WU: Well, no. Well, you're all very much loved. You know, I need you all and everything. But, I mean, I paid for the ship and I'm paying you — well most of you, anyway — wages. And I procured this myself.

RP: So...your ship, your problem!

WU: Shimatta! %!%$?%@! [pointing fingers] Temae....!

RP: ...

S: ...

— The Warubozu Usagi

6:30 am

Still on the fourth planet in the Praxia System, 45 minutes after the wake-up alarm has gone off

WU: [opens one eye, looks at window and slams the snooze button] Shineeee!

15 minutes later, alarm goes off again

WU: What the hell?! [gets up, goes to the bathroom and looks in the mirror] Ugh. Why do I always look like kuso.

S: [Entering Cap's quarters] Geez, you look like shit.

WU: [glaring back]...

S: And now you look like angry shit.

WU: How can it be morning already? I just went to sleep!

S: Cap, when we landed in Albarut, it was just before midnight on the ship but 6:30 am in Albarut. Didn't you notice the automatic time change in the ship's clocks?

WU: [glaring through crusty eyes] What do you want? Did anyone make something to eat?

S: Yeah. We had pancakes but it's all gone. Here's an apple for you. [tosses apple at Cap, hits Cap, falls to the ground with Cap staring at it]

WU: Syvil, I need you to come with me and find a mechanic.

S: Is that all? You can drag Red while Shoko and I go have some fun.

WU: ...

S: ...

RP: [pops his head into Cap's quarters] Cap, I'll go with you! Don't need to ask twice!

WU: [unamused] I didn't even ask once.

RP: Perfect! Ikimashouuuuuu!

— The Warubozu Usagi

10:05 pm

Chokat, Albarut on planet Fourth in the Praxia System, in the “food” district

S: [munching on carrot cake] Bleh. This is the worst carrot cake in the universe.

SM: That's because you're not eating carrot cake.

S: But the nice old lady said it was “carrot” cake.

SM: She said “Karit”, as in Karitworm.

S: [in shock, gagging] I fucking ate worms?!?

SM: You didn't like it? It's supposed to be sweet.

S: Does it matter? IT WAS WORMS, Shoko!

SM: [takes a bite, munches it down and swallows] Mmm. A little umami, a lot of ooh-my, sweet-so-good! Yum!

S: ...

SM: [pulls up visual search on her heads-up display] Ahh, here we go. Check it out. Karitworms. A gelatinous parasitic symbiote. Hairs are actually exoskeleton feelers. Delicacy and all.

S: ...

SM: Oh, it says not to touch it when it's alive. Those hairs are razor sharp.

S: [dropped jaw] I am never eating anything but ramen from now on.

SM: Ooh, they sell Karit ramen four stalls down!

— The Warubozu Usagi

11:28 pm

Kartus, Albarut on planet Fourth in the Praxia System near the Yuhu River in a nondescript industrial warehouse area

WU: [trailing Red] Do you see it?

RP: Cap, we're definitely lost. Can we call the girls and ask for help?

WU: I'm one hundred percent not asking my navi for help.

[a pair of shrieking Potagee Rats scamper from around the corner in front of them, past them]

WU: Aww hell, no. That is not a good sign, Red. I think we should turn back.

RP: C'mon Cap, isn't this fun? Besides, we kind of need that FP-6200 back or we can't get off this planet.

WU: You know, I think we can stay another night. Come back here in the day, whatta you say?

RP: We're running on battery backup. We wait until tomorrow and we ain't getting hot showers or cooking.

WU: I can live with that.

[deep bass horn blasts, echoing like a trumpet opening the bowels of Hell]

WU: [makes quick u-turn] That's it. We're definitely settling for cold showers tomorrow.

RP: [following behind] Warui, that's a shofar.

WU: Exactly. Time to get out of here.

RP: But, that's not...

WU: Hurry up will ya? I'm not getting caught by no Devil and hell if I'm rescuing you.

RP: But, that's...

WU: [hops into microship rental] You coming?

RP: ...Yeah sure.

[drives away, post haste, while two upright Cappipartyas appear around the corner]

JP: Did you chase them away?

HP: Yep. Damn Potagee Rats. Betcha that scared them away. What time did you say the FP-6200 was supposed to be picked up?

JP: Half an hour ago.

HP: I bet they got lost.

JP: Yep.

— The Warubozu Usagi

6:15 pm

On the Black Flea on planet Fourth in the Praxia System

(Sitting around the table celebrating New America Thanksgiving)

WU: I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by my closest friends for this wonderful dinner.

S: I'm thankful that we have any food.

WU: …

SM: I'm thankful we found a Chinese restaurant nearby.


RP: I'm thankful we had money to buy food after paying for the fusion engine repair.


S: (pointing finger at Wu-chan) You should be thankful we agreed to pull our money to fix the FP-6200.

WU: I am. And I'm especially thankful to have the best friends in the world who would never make me feel bad about having to fix our engine.

S: And I'm especially thankful we had enough hot water to take showers this morning.

WU: Wait, I didn't have any hot water.

SM: Well that's odd. There was still hot water at 6:30.

RP: I had a very nice hot shower at 7.

S: Wu-chan, what time did you wake up?

WU: (mouth already stuffed with food) Mmmph thhaan fiiimoh mevymumm, mefff gefff eefth.

(Happy Thanksgiving everyone, let's just eat)

— The Warubozu Usagi

10:58 pm

Still parked on planet Fourth in the Praxia System

Red is lying on his back to the ground, waking the dead with his loud snoring. Wu-chan is hunched back into his seat, drooling in the middle of a deep slumber.

S: Every year, Shoko...

SM: ...they give us...

S: ...enough time...

SM: sneak out...

S & SM: ...and have an entire day to ourselves!

S: Do you think we have time left?

SM: For?

S: Wanna get a pet at that 24 hour shelter?

SM: Ikemashou!

— The Warubozu Usagi


In 2088, the theory of quantum entanglement of time is proven, though it remains classified. The law of quantum physics (that which claimed time travel was impossible) were bypassed, by way of entangling qubits of an existing quantum computer from mid-2022. Once entangled, qubits from 2022 were now capable of delivering messages across an infinite time period, so long as a quantum computer existed at both ends of the time period.

While it is theorized that such quantum devices could also produce quantum time traveling, the issue remains: you must have a device at both ends of the time period. And at least in 2095, no such device has been built (we think). Therefore, no quantum time travel can occur to a period earlier than at least 2095.

For now (as of November 2095), only messages can be sent back into time and communication is a one-way street. Such devices are controlled by large governments and limited in use to the specific goal of speeding up the development of such devices so that communication can go both ways. No one completely knows if anyone's still listening on the other end. The only means of confirmation was an obscure scientific publication noting an unusual string of qubit outputs, back in 2022. Since then, no one has been able to discern proof that messages are getting through.

As always, the fear of hijacking the timeline with the uncertainty of the Temporal Paradox hanging out there prevents the future from stopping the Great War. It, however, does not stop the discrete use of bootlegged quantum time messaging devices (if you know how to build one and use it, that is).


The Black Flea has one such bootleg device, built by the extremely intelligent and precocious Mazie Mandala. In her dissertation, she was the one who proposed the means to bypass the laws of quantum physics and send communications to the past. The New American government took over her research and, for a time, employed her. At the brink of completing her device, she was released without notice and her work confiscated. Word on the street is that she'd been building a parallel device on the sly. Wanted by several government authorities across the universe, she chose to ditch her human shell and change her name to Shoko Matte.

— The Warubozu Usagi

11:42 pm

Still parked on planet Fourth in the Praxia System

The crew brings their newest member, Merica, to say hello to Wu-chan. Meri runs to Cap to investigate and starts licking his face.

WU: Slow down girl, we have lots of time.

S: (with raised eye brow) What the hell is he dreaming about?

SM: (bemused) You, silly.

RP: Aww Cap, you're embarrassing yourself.

M: (panting excitedly, licking Wu-chan's face) wuf...wuf...wuf...

S: I think Meri likes that scraggly rabbit. You think she's mistaken Wu-chan for a toy?

SM: I think she's got a thing for your boy.

WU: (still dreaming, and now drooling) Oh wow. You're so hawt, you naughty bear!

RP: (shakes head) Oh Cap, this is bad.

SM: (with smirk, points at Syvil) Who's the naughty bear? You're the bear!

S: (unamused) Meri, nip his ear!

M: Wuf!

WU: Aaaah! What the...?!?

M: Wuf!

WU: Oh my gawd! Is, is this, is this a good little boy?!?

SM: Girl.

WU: What a good girl! Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl? You're a good girl!

S: This. Is. Gross.

WU: Hey, thanks everyone! Best present ever!

S: Whoa wait a minute, this wasn't supposed to be...

WU: Alrighty, please leave now while I bond with my good little girl. Thanks!

S: But...

WU: Byeeee!

— The Warubozu Usagi


Finally off planet Fourth of the Praxia System, headed out to the tenth planet of Praxia, Decca

Wu-chan is still playing with Meri, occasionally popping out of his quarters to grab some food.

WU: Meri, do you know how to sit?

Meri: (looking sideways) Wuf?

WU: (pushing Meri's butt to the ground) Meri, sit. Good girl!

Meri: (tail wagging furiously) Wuf!

WU: Here's a treat. Shh, don't tell Syvil. This is from her strawberry plant.

(Interrupted by intercom — “Attention, will the strawberry thief make himself present in the garden?“)

WU: Uh oh.

Meri: Wuf?

WU: (grimace on face) Wuh woh.

Meri: Wuh wuf?

WU: (surprised)...Wuh woh.

Meri: Wuh woh?

WU: You're so smart!

(knock on door)

S: Thief! I know you're in there.

WU: (whispering) Shh, Meri. C'mon, let's pretend we're sleeping.

(loud knocks)

S: Thief! You're not fooling anyone!

WU: (loud fake snoring) Zzzzzzzz

S: (walking away) Warui! Real mature, you bum rabbit! No breakfast for you.

WU: :D

— The Warubozu Usagi