The Warubozu Usagi

7:15 pm

Stuck in Busan, South Korea

With no end in sight of the ban on travel to and from South Korea, the crew of the Black Flea contemplate their options while taking in the sights of Busan and eating way too much fried chicken.

RP: OMG, I think I've gained five pounds since last week.

— editor's note: He's kidding; shells can't expand. All it does is top off the power cells and everything after that gets processed directly into excrement. —

WU: Red, why are you stuffing yourself with fried chicken?

RP: Cap, when are we going to come back to South Korea?

WU: Every time we're at our place in Shirakawa-go.

RP:(eyes watering) Really?!?

WU: Of course we are, you lovable Tanuki!

SM: I love the traditionally-made kimchee more than anything else. Yum!

S: I like the pickled sides and the sweetened potatoes.

WU: I like the soju.

S: You would. It's one of the few things our shells allow to make it to the brain.

WU: You mean alcohol.

SM: Amphetamines.

WU: And sugar.

S: And caffeine. Wait, did we all just call out our favorite chemical? Shoko, what's up with the amphetamines?

SM: (raised eyebrow) You mean I'm the only one who cures her ADHD with microdoses of amphetamines?

S: Oh. I thought maybe you were doing Speed.

SM: Well I do that, too, but only when it's needed. I made this special concoction of caffeine, amphetamines, honey, and some THC to take the edge off the top. It's a hundred times better than an energy drink which is just a waste of money.

WU: Ooh, can I have some?

S: What are you, Walter White?

SM: What? No. Well, not anymore. I used to sell it on the side, back in college.

S: (face palm) My best friend's a drug a dealer.

SM: Was. Haven't sold them since college. Wanna try one?

S: This is getting off subject. Are we just going to wait this travel ban out? I'll take two.

SM: What choice do we have? I only have one in my pocket. I designed them to dissolve entirely in a minute so the effects are immediate but they only last about thirty.

WU: Syvil, split it with you? I want to go to the Sapporo Ice Festival coming up next weekend. Let's give it three more days and then we'll modify the Baby Black Flea to float.

RP: Do you think Meri wants one? Why are we trying to make our microship float?

WU: I'm not picking up her poop if she goes berserk on — Shoko what do you call these things?

SM: Powerball.

WU: Powerballs. I'm thinking if we can get the microship to float, it's basically a boat that we can use to quietly get out of here in the middle of the night.

S: Powerball? Is that so that you could sell it by name without getting caught? How long did you have this plan in your head, Wu-chan?

SM: Of course!

WU: That's why we came to the coast.

RP: You mean we didn't come to the coast to go to Lotteworld?

WU: (looks to Shoko and Syvil and winks) Red, of course we did!

RP: Cap, I can see you winking.

WU: Red, did you have a good time at Lotteworld?

RP: You know I did!

WU: Well then, that's all that matters!

RP: It's a Lotteworld after all, it's a Lo...

---

— The Warubozu Usagi

8:50 am

North of Busan, in Gyeongsangbuk-do, South Korea

The ban on travel to and from South Korea is indefinite and the crew of the Black Flea have decided to pursue their alternate plan to exit South Korea. A little fishing and farming village on the coast in Gyeongsangbuk-go is now their temporary base while the construct a boat to quietly transport their microship out of South Korea in the middle of the night.

WU: The Black Minnow, Syvil.

S: What?

WU: I've decided to name our clandestine boat The Black Minnnow.

S: Wu-chan, we haven't even started building the boat.

WU: I know, but I've finalized the design and specs and I figured I should come up with a name and a graphic for the boat.

S: (rolls eyes) Whatever. Did you include catamaran-type outriggers?

WU: Yup.

S: Did you leave room in the rear to keep the microship's platform open?

WU: Uh huh.

S: Did you include lights?

WU: Affirmative.

S: Did you add twin rudders?

WU: You betcha.

S: Did you design a floorboard elevation ten inches above the waterline?

WU: Of course!

S: Alright then, let's see it.

WU: Say hello to The Black Minnow, Syvil!

S: (studying it carefully) What's the deal with the constant black and white schemes?

WU: You don't like it?

S: Well, it's fine, but why can't you use a little color once in a while? Pink?

WU: Pink?!? What is this, a fashion show?

S: Or green?

WU: Green?!? Are we trying to blend into a forest?

S: Brown?

WU: Oh great, the color of dirt?

S: (giving Wu-chan the stink eye) ...

WU: (giving Syvil stink eye back) ...

S: Do you have a shopping list ready?

WU: Already sent it to Red and Shoko.

S: We only have three days to complete the boat and get out of here if we're going to make it to the Sapporo Ice Festival.

WU: Wakari masuka! But uh, Syvil, the festival goes for a week, you know?

S: Warui, when you put things off to the last minute, things go wrong and you miss the opportunity. A sudden warm break in the weather could ruin the festival.

WU: I have it on good authority that the ice will not melt next week, on account that the forecast calls for continuously freezing temperatures.

S: Fine. I'm just saying, you never know what'll happen.

WU: Hold on, Red's calling. Red, what up? No, no, the spray kind. Yeah, not, not cans we need the one big box. Has to be metallic polymer; we don't have an oven. Yeah, the multiband with infrared. I don't know, fifty yards to be on the safe side? Oh, and Red, don't forget a case of Choco Pies. Oh, you did already? Cool. Alright.

S: How many cases did he get?

WU: Three.

S: Call him back. We need six. And ask Red to ask Shoko how many more Speedballs she's got with her. I think we're going to need a dozen to get through the next two days.

---

— The Warubozu Usagi

---

— The Warubozu Usagi

1:45 pm

Busan, South Korea

The plan failed. A local busybody had been paying attention to the activities of the crew of the Black Flea as soon as they arrived in Gyeongsangbuk-do. Mrs. Kim surreptitiously documented the construction of the Black Minnow and reported it to the KNPA, who in turn put the Black Flea crew under observation. Before they could get 100 meters from the port, the KNPA swooped in and arrested the crew for violating a federal travel ban and placed in detention.

It wouldn't be until late Friday night, February 10, that the travel ban was lifted. At that point, the crew would have been released and charges dropped, but they would have to wait until Monday morning for the administrative staff to process their release.

Syvil was not happy.

S: (staring at Wu-chan) Temae! We missed the Sapporo Ice Festival!

WU: Aww Syvil, you're missing the big picture here.

S: Yeah, what's that?

WU: We're not in jail!

S: Yeah, because we hid the data in Meri!

Meri: Wuf!

WU: Well that too, but I was worried someone was going to pin the death of Jageda's GEO on us. You know, food poisoning or something?

RP: Since the Ice Festival is over, what are we going to do? Are we going back to Decca right away to deliver the goods?

SM: Oh hell no. We are going back to Ginzan to soak in the hot springs for a couple of days. Isn't that right, Syvil?

S: Damn right. And Warui is paying for it all out of his personal funds.

WU: ...

RP: That sounds good to me.

WU: ...

S: And no skimping on the meals. We're having sushi and niku at every meal.

WU: ...

S: What?

WU: I still don't get it, though. How did we escape scrutiny of the police? We did not have a backup backstory for our stay in Busan. We had a day-long gap while we were pretending to be caterers and got stuck at Jageda.

RP: Cap, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

SM: Hmm. Did they plant bugs on our stuff?

RP: (freaked, in a fake voice) HA HA CAP, YOU'RE SO FUNNY! WE HUNG OUT IN THE SHIP ALL DAY LONG, DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

WU: (also freaked out, taking in a fake voice) OH YEAH, YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! HOW COULD I FORGET? I MUST BE GETTING OLD OR SOMETHING! WE JUST HUNG OUT ALL DAY AND WATCHED BOOTLEG VIDEOS FROM THE 20TH CENTURY WE SNUCK IN WITH MERI!

S: Baka. They probably just put trackers everywhere and installed apps to listen in on phone calls.

WU: (draws picture of himself calling Doogé) SO SHOULD WE GO BACK HOME NOW?

RP: (shakes head and draws an 'X' through the picture) I AGREE, WE SHOULD GO HOME! WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF LOTTE WORLD!

SM: (draws a black box) WE CAN USE THE QUANTUM MACHINE TO SEND AN ENCRYPTED MESSAGE. WHY ARE WE YELLING?

S: (whacks everyone on the head) EVERYONE STOP YELLING!

Meri: WUF!

---

— The Warubozu Usagi

8:30 am

Kumamoto, Japan

In a hot springs village tucked away in a hillside along a river, in the town of Minamioguni, the crew of the Black Flea have been relaxing the past week.

S: (eyes closed, in a relaxed state soaking in a public hot spring) This place was exactly what I needed. Sounds of the river rushing by and the rustling bamboo and hinoki, while soaking in hot springs water.

SM: (eyes closed but smiling) And kawaii shops all over.

RP: (eyes closed, imagining different foods) And cute little places to eat. Sasa mochi. Kashiwa mochi. Sakura mochi. Kusa mochi...

WU: (opens eyes, turns to Red and smiles) All the mochi!

RP: (excitedly opens eyes and throws two hands up) All the mochi!

SM: (sinking into the hot water) Ahh, sugoi!

WU: Shoko, do you have a plan to sweep for malware and trackers?

SM: (eyes still closed) Already done. The day we got here I programmed a thousand nanobots to search for anomalies and new parts throughout all of our belongings and the microship, and then used some sentinels to search for software changes.

WU: ...

S: (slightly annoyed) Did you really think that we'd go a week without doing something about it?

WU: Well no, but I sort of forgot about it. (turns to Shoko) Did you find anything?

S: (eyes still closed) Yeah.

WU: And?

S: (eyes closed, sipping on iced lemon matcha tea) All cleaned three days ago.

RP: (fawning with adoring eyes) You're so cool!

WU: So...we can leave to hang out at the new house in Shirakawa-go?

S: Why would we do that? This place is so nice!

WU: We need to get under way and deliver the data to Doogé, but I wanted to spend at least a couple of days in the new house before we left for Decca. Ikimashou-ka?

RP: I'm packing a dozen mochi in the fridge, then.

SM: I'm packing a dozen omiyage...for me.

S: I'm packing a dozen tins of unagi.

WU: I'm going to take a hike with Meri and take some photos.

S: I'm starting to feel sad already.

WU: Daijoubu! We'll come back here in the future, Syvil. With a house in Shirakawa-go, we'll be able to make day trips whenever we come to Earth!

S: (heavy sigh) Yeah, but it's not the same as staying here for a week. There's something to be said for being in one place.

WU: ...did you not want to continue with our space adventure?

S: I didn't say that. We just need to take more breaks on terra firma, you know?

WU: My dear Syvil, that's why I've been asking you guys to put down houses on different planets. You should see what I've had built on Mars.

S: Wait, did you go ahead with building a place on Mars?

WU: Yeah.

S: When were you going to tell us?

WU: Now?

RP: Yay, we have a place on Mars!

WU: It's super huge! I designed a giant lab area for Shoko and a massive indoor landscape to grow things.

SM: (smiling nonchalance) Cool.

S: Did you use up all the money?

WU: What? Of course not. Well, like ninety percent of it. But that still gives us an uncomfortable amount of cash just lying around doing nothing.

S: (shakes head) Warui!

---

— The Warubozu Usagi

Birth Name

Charley Villanueva

Full Legal Name

Syvil

Pronouns

She/her/girl

Nickname(s)

• Teddi
• Si-chan
• Navi (as in “navigator”)

Birthdate and location

September 11, 2067, Portlandia, New America, Earth

Origins

Even before she became a Hafu, she was Warubozu Usagi's best friend, Charley Villanueva. She didn't particularly mind her name, but Gilbert (Wu-chan) insisted that everyone change their names so that none of them could be traced back.

As part of Wu-chan's grand idea, each of his three invited friends also had to ditch their human shells. She chose a teddy bear.

Syvil finished college near the bottom of her class as a fusion engineer, largely because she never fit in with her classmates and teachers. Unlike most of them, she was driven hard-core by civil rights issues. When it came time to choose her name, she thought it cute to create a homonym to civil.

She's also a smart ass who always has a witty comeback or insult ready to hurl without delay. Often, she overlooks the tiny details, but that's okay because she's a damn good navigator and pilot.

Her rejection of class separation through the Cogtest ultimately led her to reject the social system and its inherent biases.

---

— The Warubozu Usagi

Birth Name

Gilbert Kobayashi

Full Legal Name

Warubozu Usagi

Pronouns

He/him/it/studmuffin

Nickname(s)

• Warui
• Wu-chan
• Captain
• Cap

History

Birthdate and location

July 1, 2061, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA, Earth

Origins

Wu-chan, like everyone else on the The Black Flea is a Hafu. His human name was Gilbert Kobayashi.

Most of his background remains murky as he does not like to talk much about his distant past. What is known about him is that his family was somewhat wealthy, but by the end of the war, they were nearly broke. Born in Hawaii at the start of the Great War, he automatically became a dual-citizen of the newly formed nation of New Hawaii and the reconstituted nation of New America in 2064.

He's got mad skills on a lot of things but lacks mastery of any of them. He might have ADHD but he's never bothered to get it checked, happy to live in his short-attention span world.

To procure and refurbish the Black Flea (which was previously a science vessel) he'd taken to smuggling part-time to pay back his non-sanctioned black market loan.

His persona can be described as a trouble-making rabbit whose antics constantly get him into hot water with his best friend, Syvil. Wu-chan sees Syvil as his teddy bear, but Syvil prefers to just be best friends. He and Syvil cuddle a lot, especially when gripped by fear of darkness — an odd thing considering their choice to live the ship life in space. Wu-chan's best friend is Red Panda. A big part of their friendship is mutual respect for each other and a shared love for food from around the galaxy.

---

— The Warubozu Usagi

Birth Name

Jake McWinter

Full Legal Name

Red Panda

Pronouns

He/him/Fuzzy

Nickname(s)

• Red
• RP
• Racco
• Red-kun

History

Birthdate and location

September 11, 2066, Victoria, New America, Earth

Origins

Red Panda is actually a racoon dog. This was not intentionally ironic, but rather, an accident.

From a very young age, Jake had mistakenly conflated red pandas and racoon dogs. When it came time to pick a shell for his future life, Jake, who'd already been going by the nickname “Red” since elementary school, pointed at the raccoon dog model.

Jake was born to a family of rural-ish farmers in North Saanich on Victoria Island. He's very good with hands and fixing things, but makes a lot of poor decisions, especially when he's with his best friend, Warubozu Usagi.

He first met Wu-chan when both were in their teens. Wu-chan's family was on vacation on Victoria Island when they got lost shortly after getting off the ferry in Swartz Bay. They stumbled onto a small farm nearby where they met the McWinters. Through the years, the two teens kept in touch and eventually, Red would move out to New Hawaii to spend more time hanging out with Wu-chan while working on a coffee farm in Waialua. Red would become Wu-chan's first partner in crime, literally.

Red is whimsical but often stuck in his own world. He comes off as aloof but he’s just hyper-focused on two subjects: Food and how to make mechanical things work better.

When asked why his name is Red Panda, he reflexively responds, “Well then, why not? I am a Red Panda, after all.” Most people think he's joking. He's serious.

The only thing that upsets Red is when his friends are hurt. Once, Red tore through a half-dozen smugglers because he thought they'd shot Wu-chan in the arm. He was mistaken. He, and Wu-chan, ended up working for those smugglers to make amends. This relationship eventually led to Wu-chan obtaining the Black Flea with their help.

Red and Shoko are in a relationship of sorts. They're in an informal partnership, working and playing side-by-side. It's not clear if they're intimate, but they are very close.

---

— The Warubozu Usagi

6:05 am

Portlandia, New America

It's been two months since we last receieved dispatches from the crew of the Black Flea. They were stuck on Earth as their passports all expired on or about March 1, 2096. The crew had to split up while waiting to have their passports renewed, with Red and Shoko citizens of New America and Syvil and Warubozu Usagi citizens of New Hawaii.

With the Black Flea parked in New Hawaii without its quantum compter operator (Shoko), dispatches had gone dark to the frustration of Wu-chan. Shoko and Red, with the Little Black Flea, have finally finished building their own quantum computer for the Little Black Flea.

This constitutes the first dispatch from that new device, with its own ability to create temporary micro wormholes for limited communication transmissions to the past.

Shoko: (waking up, putting her glasses on) Red, what are you doing up so early?

Red: (busy staring at the screen) Shoko, how do I send a message back to my gramma?

Shoko: Oh you sweet Tanuki, you can't risk sending messages to your grandmother. Do you want to test the time-travel paradox?

Red: No, but I miss her, you know? She used to get me roasted chestnuts whenever I got a B in school.

Shoko: You mean an A?

Red: No, no. I never got As except in phys-ed and shop. I wasn't much of a scholarly type like you.

Shoko: (regretting bringing it up) Oh, well um, you're very talented in mechanical things, you husky shell of a Tanuki. Only you can fix just about everything on a ship.

Red: (kindly breaking the uncomfortable subject) Isn't it unusual that Wu-chan and Syvil haven't sent us any messages or called?

Shoko: (smiles) Oh no, Wu-chan had been trying to get in contact with us but I programmed the phones and our accounts to reject their calls and messages.

Red: Why?

Shoko: Red, they're in New Hawaii. Surely he has better things to do than to constantly communicate with us, like pay attention to Syvil.

Red: Ohh! Is that why we have Meri with us?

Meri: Wuf!

Shoko: Well, that and I wanted to upgrade her parts and give her the ability to jump a floor, isn't that right Meri? Meri, jump!

Meri: (launches into the air and onto the roof of the Baby Black Flea) Wuuuuf!

Red: Whoa. Can you do that for me, too?

Shoko: You sweet, adorable Tanuki. Your mass is three times higher than hers. I'm so sorry.

Red: Aww.

Shoko: I can put retractable wheelies in your feet. How about that?

Red: (Red rushes to Shoko to give her one of his big Tanuki hugs.) Yes!

Shoko: Ohh, okay now, big boy. Calm down.

Red: Can you make my eyes shoot lasers like Meri?

Shoko: (sternly) NO.

Red: Wheelies it is!

Shoko: (slithering back under the covers, in a muffled voice) And make some coffee.

---

— The Warubozu Usagi