Dragonbane (Drakar och Demoner) is by Free League a Kicker that has run its course, but is still open to late pledges!!

Free League is, imo, one of the best RPG publishers in the world right now. I am currently playing some games they make. Forbidden Lands, which is a OSR game, and Alien, which is a RPG set in the universe of the Alien Franchise. The thing is they also do the absurdly popular Twilight 2000, Mutant: Year Zero, which is the system they use in a lot of their games, Coriolis, the award winning Symbaroum and a bunch of others. Recently they released Bladerunner which I hear is also very good.

My point is these guys are basically batting 1000.

Dragonbane is a “new” RPG system from Free League. They normally use the Mutant : Year Zero system in their games, which revolve around pushing your luck via d6 drops. The interesting thing is that this is based on Drakar och Demoner, a old game from the 80s. You see back in the ancient times before the internet things didn't travel like they did now. During the late 70s when the RPG scene took off DnD didn't really make it to Northern Europe. So, instead of DnD they had DoD (Drakar och Demoner) which I believe is Sweedish for Dragons and Demons. Basically, if you played RPGs in and around Scandinavia during the 80s and 90s. It was DoD, and NOT DnD that you played.

This is classic Free League stuff. Mutant : Year Zero was also a regionally known RPG that most of the world had not heard of when they repackaged it for the world market. They have a history of taking these lesser, or unknown games (unknown to some, particularly the west) and re-release then as a “new” game with modern tweaks and then blow people socks off with it. The thing is that DoD is kinda like Pepsi. It is an alternative “root brand” to DnD. It is a hugely influential RPG that has molded many European designers who now make more mainstream RPGs. So DoD has been secretly behind the scenes this whole time influencing many of the TTRPGs you probably play.


So what exactly is DB? Well it is a high Fantasy RPG sandbox. While it does have an actual world and obviously that means it has its own major god and demons and stuff, the game itself is really more open than some others. In that regard it reminds me a little of Lamentations of the Flame Princess. Not.. I stress.... not in content. LoTFP is notoriously dark, but in that this version of DoD is game you can also basically make adventures that do anything, inside a high fantasy setting.

As it is a game from the 80s it lacks some of the “free form” ideas popular in some modern RPGs. I mean it is a modern rebuild of the game, but it is still like DnD itself. As this game has a lot of combat stuff in it. Make a party and go hunt some monsters! The combat rules are typically streamlined and simple in comparison to DnD, which is a total mess imo. The core mechanic is rolling a d20 and trying to get equal to or under your skill. So it's like Pendragon in that way. So attacks do damage, you track health, etc etc. Utility spells and all that stuff. The original DoD was based on Basic Roleplaying by Chaosium. One of the big updates here is changing it from a D100 test to D20s. (dropping granularity from %1 to %5 increments).

cool You can download the Quick Start PDF from the Kickstater Site. These rules are Beta so are subject to tweaks and stuff.


For those of you that have been paying attention to the OGL (Open Gaming Licence) and current implosion happening over at Wizards over it, might want to consider Draganbane as a OpenDnD solution to using DnD itself.

#OpenDND #DNDbeGone #OpenDND

Poster Koala Man

Adult Swim recently took a chance by give some very popular youtube cartoonists a shot at a one off special. It was so popular they made an entire series and that has received nearly universal praise for being so fresh, interesting and funny. Somehow Smiling Friends retained the feeling of that random youtube kind of content you see online but made for a major network. Appealing to the literal millions of people that consume content on social media platforms.


So it is no surprise that Michael Cusack one of the creators of Smiling Friends and who supplies the Aussie voice of Pim, is getting offers from all over the shop. So here we have a new “adult” cartoon from someone that many feel is a fresh voice in animation right now.

The problem is that Koala Man despite having some charm lacks all the daring innovation that made Smiling Friends stand out so. This show is just another in a long list of wacky cartoons full of jokes, violence and swearing.

I am not sure what I was expecting from this show but I was not expecting it to be a by the numbers show that could have been done by anyone or been any of the many released in recent years.

That is not to say the show does not have its upside. As an Australian myself, there is a defiant appeal in the show due to it being the kind of understated “chill” but sarcastic and, well... kinda mean, “taking the piss” humour that is so common over here. As someone that consumes so much media having Australian sensibilities in a show does feel great.

So despite this show's issues, it does have a unique voice in that regard.

The problem is that this show just feels like more of the same. Wacky stories with painfully obvious “lessons” like “don't just chase popularity” or w/e that we have seen a bazillion times. It lacks the subversiveness of Smiling Friends and I couldn't help but feel that Michael Cusack is being held back by following the “Simpsons” format so closely. I thought this show would be a lot more insane.

Is this show terrible? No. It has a real charm to it and I did enjoy it, some. The issue is that I doubt this show will get a lot of traction beyond the initial curiosity of its early days of release. For what I liked the most about this is that as a Australian I could relate to it. For an international show that being the only real draw is a problem.


It should be noted that Koala Man is not a new project. Michael Cusack did a really fantastic Rick & Morty parody and started work on Koala Man shortly after for his youtube chan around 2018. The splash image above is from the old ABC pilot (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) from back then.


This show is alright. Nothing special, nothing terrible. Maybe it would grow on me as I got more comfortable with the characters, but I would have to remember it exists first.



I was unreasonably excited to see this film. Luckily, I have kids and nephews and nieces, so I had ample excuses to see this movie “because the kids may like it”. I think a lot of the reason I was so keen to see this film is that I am a cat owner and have been for my entire life. As in my first cat died at 22 when I was 14, so literally the entire time I have been alive I've lived with and loved cats.

It has always bugged me that, Hollywood especially, always casts cats in films as bad guys or mean and snobbish. It is a strange cliché in most American films as cats are a hugely popular and beloved pet. The perception of them as evil, snarky beasts is really not how most people see them, particularly cat owners. It seems so strange to me that Hollywood does not embrace the cat more as a heroic protagonist for that would appeal to literally millions and millions of people all across the globe. Also, if the internet has taught us anything, cats are really photogenic and expressive to look at.


Anyway, this movie is a real step in the right direction for children's movies, reminding me of the glory days of Pixar. Back when Pixar films could make you cry and laugh in the same movie. Dreamworks has outdone themselves here in producing a kids film that is funny, exciting, scary and relatively deep in its themes and messages.

The core of this film is about life. What makes life worth living? How does one live a full life? What makes someone truly happy? What is important? These type of questions are framed through the fear of death. Now these are heavy ideas, but kids are smarter and more interested in the world around them than many adults give them credit for. IMO, kids shouldn't be hidden from things. It does not protect them, it cripples them for life.


So while the ideas in this film are heavy in relation to the kind of light smultch coming from Disney recently, and it does have a genuinely terrifying villain. It is still an excellent kids' story.

I do think this film is a little unsure of who it is made for. There is some bad language in this movie. All of it is beeped out in some way, and in literally you hear beep sounds over swearing and others instances are stopped midword.. like “Bullshit” is just “Bull..”, stuff like that. Still, this seems like a symptom of the same thing Toy Story had “issues” with. Shrek is 21 years ago. The kids that saw that are now parents or grandparents. It is not a bad idea to cater to children, but also make sure that the Parents have fun and cater to their sensibilities as well. While I like the deeper meanings in this film and I also think it is about time kids got an actual scary villain for a change, I think the swearing was kinda out of place and makes the film unsuitable for many parents and puts the move into the range of teenagers more than kids. To be clear, this is a non-issue for me, but I can see why some parents may have an issue with the language.


Still, despite a few rocks this is a fantastic film from start to finish. The animation is detailed and gorgeous. I'm not a huge fan of the jerky animation. I used to do 3D Animation for a living and do not be fooled. That animation style is simply done to reduce the cost of rendering as you render less frames. Which is why it is only used in the combat sequences. Even so, despite this artistic / economic choice, the film is really just fantastic looking. The expressions and details in the sets are amazing. Also, as an x-animator the power of modern lighting in these renderers is just astounding.

My only other gripe is that I would have liked Kitty Softpaws to be a more rounded character. Kitty is better at everything than anyone else in the movie, more fearless and smarter. Never makes mistakes and is basically perfect. While Puss spends most of his time doing slapstick comedy. I mean the film still works and there is a plot through line about Puss loosing confidence through fear, but even so, Kitty has no arc of any kind. Making her feel flat and uninteresting. Every other character besides Jack Horner has an arc. Jack btw, doesn't have an arc by design. This is part of the thematics of the over arch plot and metaphoric meanings of the movie. His lack of an arc is used as a counterpoint to the main villain, Wolf. So it is actually a plot point. I just think they missed a real opportunity for Kitty to experience an arc like all the other characters.


Easily one of if not the best animated film of 2022 and one of if not the best family movie of 2022. I might have changed a few things.

Remastered Edition


So I recently played Uncharted 4 : Legacy of Thieves Collection on PC and was hugely impressed. You can read my thoughts on that, if you like. Long story short, I loved it. In fact, I loved it so much I bought a PS5 specifically to experience more of “console gaming”.

One of the very first things I bought for my PS5 was, ironically, a PS4 disk. Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection. This one disk contains all 3 of the old Uncharted games, which I was very interested to play as Uncharted 4 really BLEW my mind. I can not stress how much I enjoyed that game. As I said in my review, it actually changed my entire perspective on gaming.

One of the many cool things about consoles I have found out, as I have never owned one and been a PC gamer all my life, is the return of the brick and motor shop. I have a EB Games near my place and have been shopping in there. The helpful green haired kid behind the counter took the three brand new games I got from the shelf of Uncharted 1,2 and 3 all remastered and chose me this collected version.


The reason I was buying all three separately was that the collection does not say anywhere that they are the remastered editions. She assured me after the PS5 updates the game these will in fact be the remastered versions, and they were. So instead of spending $30aud x3 I ended up spending $12.50aud.

I never knew how much I missed going into a game store and speaking to someone after so many years using steam and gog.



So this game is obviously no Uncharted 4. Ten years separate these games, and gaming has advanced so much in that time. I mean, HD TVs didn't become standard until 2009 and this game came out in 2007.

I do a lot of retro gaming, well retro for others... more like nostalgia gaming for me as I was alive when they were released! lol. So I am experienced with looking past things like graphic quality, controls fluidity and other problems older games have. It is unreasonable to compare this game to Uncharted 4. It simply is not in the same league. That is no fault of its own, it is just from a different era.

The game is Uncharted as I know it. The characters are the same. It is still very funny and has an absorbing “adventure” feeling as you travel about. It was also great seeing the origins of the various relationships I saw in game 4.

In all the important ways, this game is exactly what I wanted.

BUT... there are some issues. Major issues, and I am not talking about the clunkier controls, and aiming and stuff. This is to be expected in an older game. The problem I have is that it is oppressively combat heavy. What I loved about the 4th game was the excellent cinematic experience of being inside an adventure film. This game has that, kind of, but the real focus of this game is actually the combat sequences.

I wanted more story, but instead it was just more and more and more combat sequences. I found it kind of monotonous. The action just never took a break. By the time they made Uncharted 4 they had the pacing down. Rich story moments, platforming moments, puzzle moments and exploration moments. These all split up the combat into digestible chunks. In this game, though, you would get through a complex combat sequence and after walking a few feet be in another.

It was just too much for me.

I have been told by many that this is the weakest of the three, and I believe I understand why. While this is a great game and I had a lot of fun playing through it... I mean the story, presented with these utterly charming characters, is awesome and completely aligned with the vibe I experienced in Uncharted 4 was fun and engaging. I just feel that the game lacks an understanding of what it really is. When I think to Uncharted 4 this game feels like a prototype. I guarantee, I have not played it, but I would put money down, that Uncharted 2 is much more in tune with what Uncharted 4 is. As in leaning more into the cinematic experience.

You have to remember this is the 1st game of the series. I have played the 4th game that was made 10 years latter and the sharpening of the concept, the honing of it, from an action combat game into something greater is a clear line of progression.

I still think this is a great game, and it has a lot going for it, but it was a real slog towards the end. In fact, I took a 2 month break near the end before finishing it, as I just couldn't take one more combat sequence. I mean, once you hit that end game it is relentless, endless combat.


Fantastic game, for its time and a great game even now. It is a must for fans of the characters. For everyone else? I think this can be safely skipped, or played until your sick of it and then youtube the rest. I do not think I would recommend this to a new player. I'd say start with one of the others and then if you are really into the franchise, then play the 1st one. (Remember I have only played 1 and 4)

EvilDead5Poster I hate this poster

Evil Dead 5 : Rise “Teaser” Trailer

This is a trailer for the trailer to Evil Dead 5... yes this is a thing now. Trailers for trailers. We 'orta leave this world behind.

Evil Dead 5 : Rises..... meh I am into this as I love the first 2 films so much. I also like the 3rd a lot, but in a different way. It really is in a separate class, so to speak, as it is so different to the Horror root of the franchise. I actually didn't even mind the modern 2013 remake. I mean, it was nothing special, but wasn't terrible. I enjoyed it. Though an Evil Dead film is not something I want to think is kinda cool. I want to be blown away with how awesome the film is.

I actually think the closest we have to a modern Evil Dead is the other Rami film Drag me to Hell though it is Re-Animator and Bride of the Re-Animator that sit alone under a dais next to the throne from which Evil Dead 2 looks down at all Horror Comedy as the undisputed King. It rules as the Now King after American Werewolf in London basically spawned the entire sub-genre.

EvilDead5Poster2 I love this poster

Evil Dead 5 : Rise “Red Band” Trailer #1

I'm interested in the concept of this film, but I am worried about it as well. It will be cool to see Evil Dead in a new location. Basically, instead of a cabin in the woods, this is set in a high rise somewhere in the middle of LA. This could be neat, as long as it doesn't degenerate into some kind of zombie horde type thing.

The problem I have with this is that it is set in a city. So the fact that the setting is so densely populated will make the story hard to do and probably, also make it expensive as well. Meat Puppets possessed by demons screaming about swallowing souls and buckets of blood spewing out of elevators would be noticed in a city. So they need to build a believable story around this problem which explains why a swat team doesn't show up. This is why a cabin in the woods is such an obvious place for a story like this to be set.

That being said, I am very eager to see what's, what. This is Evil Dead, and I have high expectations. I “want” this to be great. It has an amazing pedigree, and I am sure some of my perceptions from the trailer will no doubt be predicted and handled by the filmmakers. I hope, at least.

One thing though... I HATE children in films. Fuck your god damn kids, right off. If I could make any film wish, I would ask for all scripts with kids in them where they are main characters, which are not films made for kids... just to never get made. Throw those scripts in the bin and restart the writing process. Fuck kids. Fuck 'em. Kids suck in movies and they suck extra hard in horror movies.... and yes.. there are a few exceptions to every rule.... but still. A single mother and her fucking sprogs? That does not really sound like a good base for an Evil Dead movie, to me.


So picked this up on a whim a while ago as I was super bored... I have to say.. This game is excellent. I mean really good. Astoundingly good. I didn't really know games like this existed.

I've never really owned any consoles. Not as I have any kind of “PC Master Race Thing” going on. It is just that I have always found it offensive that you have to pay to use the internet for multiplayer. I mean how the fuck was that normalised! Xbox, Nintendo and PS exclusives are also fucking lame as fuck. And no.. Epic or Galaxy or Origin or w/e is not the same. A 700 buck hardware and then a monthly online paywall is NOT the same as installing a tiny 500kb app that is free to put on your computer.

In addition, I mainly play strategy games and point and click adventure games. The vast majority of games I play are all Turn Based Strategy games of some kind. I play city builders, grand strategy, war games stuff like that. The only real story driven games I ever play are the point and click adventures and most of them are from the 80s and 90s!

Anyway, my point is that I have not only never played this game, but I have not really played any games like it. This style of game is very “console” and I have always played on PC. It is also a action game, and I have basically not played real time games since Command and Conquer as my old man reflexes are arse.

This Uncharted game is astoundingly good.

I do not think I have felt a game that is so much like being in a movie. I mean you are literally watching a cool action movie, but controlling parts of it. I mean technically it is not much beyond a walking simulator. You jump about by pressing one button on a very specific path and then have a short fight.. followed by story, even so it is extremely good at making you feel like you are this guy. Even is technically the entire game is on rails.

I actually like the rails. It is the story and the “film experience” I am into with this one. I know all the kids like open world and all that freedom... but I still just dig games that are fun to play and tell a good story. Games like The Witcher for example I couldn't get into as there was just so much choice, I felt lost. After work I want to sit down and play some Stellaris, run some missions in Chaos Gate or watch some awesome Uncharted story unfold. Not spend 3 hours wandering around a town and talking to a blacksmith to be sent to find some cows or whatever the fuck that Red Dead 2 quest was I quit the game on.

The only thing that sucks is that this is actually Game 4 in the series. I get that this version 4 is probably the most popular one, or the one that needed the least work to port to PC, but I would have much preferred to play from game 1. The port btw is great. I have had zero issues of any kind and my system aint exactly a beast.

Anyway... this game is so good I am going to buy a PS5. It has opened my mind to a type, a style of game I have read about but never really understood. This sort of interactive film type of game. I want to play more and I want to avoid the PC pitfalls of ports.

DCeased Cover


  1. DCeased
  2. Un-Kill-Ables
  3. Hope at World's End
  4. Dead Planet

Official Blurb

What happens to the World’s Greatest Heroes if the world ends? Six hundred million people. That's how many fall victim when a mysterious techno-organic virus is unleashed on Earth. Six hundred million infected. Six hundred million turned into mindless, rampaging killers bent on death and destruction. And that's just the beginning. Cities. Nations. Undersea Kingdoms and Paradise Islands. One by one, they fall to the monstrous hordes. Now only Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and the rest of the Justice League stand between Earth and utter annihilation. But for how long? Nothing they've ever faced has prepared them for an onslaught of this magnitude. Nothing they've ever seen can match the scale of the tragedy and terror that have been unleashed. As heroes and villains, gods and monsters are wiped out, only one question remains: What happens to the World's Greatest Heroes if the world ends?

New York Times bestselling writer Tom Taylor (Injustice) joins artists Trevor Hairsine (Red Hood and the Outlaws) and Stefano Guadiano (The Walking Dead) to unleash an all-new vision of the DC Universe's darkest hour in DCeased. But be warned: the horror is contagious...

: My Take :

Once upon a time there was a fad that permeated all media, and comics were no more immune than the characters in those stories. Zombies were everywhere. Films, TV, Comics, Video Games, Tabletop Games... just everywhere. At the height of this fad there was a comic called Marvel Zombies that tracked an outbreak of a zombie virus in the Marvel Universe. It was insanely popular, like everything zombie was at the time, and it was not long until DC did their own take on the idea, Blackest Night.

Blackest Night was a mega cross over event that was a more DC themed take than just “zombie plague but with infected super powered people”. It revolved around the a Black Lantern Core and it was really good. Not original like Marvel Zombies, I mean everyone knew it was a “lets do one of those zombie stories as well” type thing, but that didn't stop Blackest Night being extremely good.

So it was a huge surprise to many DC readers to learn that there was a brand new take on a super powered Zombie War coming from DC. I mean the Fad was over and zombies were back to their normal background level of immense popularity, and it wasn't like Blackest Night was some kind of failure. It was hugely successful. Still here we are. Sorta the same thing. Again.

The basic idea of the Zombie event has not changed much from Marvel Zombies. This is a book to see the heroes you are so used to being in control, cracking jokes and winning, instead get totally annihilated and gruesomely put down. Villains become heroes and Heroes find their morals can't hold and act like villains. Like Blackest Night though this story is deeply infused with DC Lore. Marvel Zombies was just a zombie plague (kinda), while this story is linked to one of DCs longest running villain through lines. The Anti-Life Equation.

Like the film 28 Days Later this story is not actually zombies, but something more interesting for DC fans. This gives the writers freedom to do things that would be impossible in a typical zombie story. Also, while Marvels Zombies and Blackest Night were pitch black and repressively dark, alla The Walking Dead, for this was the style at the time, this story dose not fail to forget that at the heart of every great DC Soup Tale... is Hope. Though like all good stories of hope, that hope needs to be crushed until it's just a flickering ember.

Anyone who reads big cross over events know what to expect. So many characters are in this and many have really great roles. Others die super fast for shock or story reasons and others are delegated to background drawings, that become a kind of Where's Wally? type thing which plays out on double page spreads. I am not sure these kind of events, though big and epic, are really the best place for new soup readers to jump in. The power of these cross overs is the reader knowing about all these characters, knowing them intimately, and then seeing them in alternative situations they are not normally in. Obviously these characters are very well known and this comic is not so detailed a character study as something like Kingdom Come that someone with a passing familiarity will not have footing. Still, like all cross overs, this is a story for fans.

There are some really awesome moments in this story. Some of the very coolest characters once again show you why they are the coolest and it is awesome. The entire event took 4 years and like all universe altering events that become super popular it is now a numbered Earth in the DC Multiverse were more stories are being told in that same setting. So while the entire story wraps up, aside from a few massive loose ends, you can expect a new story soon called DCeased: War of the Undead Gods an 8 part series that will end sometime in the 1st 3-5 months of '23. What I am getting at here, is that I would not post this event, if it did not have an ending. In fact I do not even read mass events like this until they are complete, as they literally take 4-6 years to come out.

I loved this event and it is probably my favorite DC event in a long time.

DCeased Cover He spoke of improbabilities with certainty, and we just.... believed what he said. His symbol is a power that flows from within us all and it raises us higher than seems possible.

I have been watching “Xmas” films last few days. Not sure if I will review them all but I will be posting thoughts on some....


Krampus (2015)

A lot of people told me this was a really great movie, but I just don't see it.

I know that the kind of films I've been watching this Christmas require a certain level of “going with it” and there are some cool things in this movie that I felt did work. Still, overall this is a Creep Show story that takes ½ and episode... not a feature length film. As a film, it just runs out of stuff to do. Way way before the end. Resulting in some bafflingly long sequences. I mean we are not talking the fight scene in They Live but we are talking that kind of thing.

Like I said though the film has some good stuff in it. The cast is surprisingly awesome in this one, and surprising because of the type of movie it is. Usually these sort of films are pretty low bar, but there are some actors with serious comedy chops in this and they are funny much of the time. I think it is the considerable charm of these actors that is inflating this films rep. Also this film has some really neat practical effects. I particularly liked the spooky teddy bear which reminds me, in a good way, of Critters (a film I deeply love), and the entire “lost in the blizzard” bit near the start is a great example of doing so much with so little.

The problem with this movie is the film maker didn't follow the “Jaws” principle. Krampus looks awesome, but not after he is in full shot for 15 mins. Some sneaker camera angles to hide him, bit of smoke or something, would have really elevated the ending of this movie. I know it is low budget, but check out Errementari : The Devils Blacksmith for how creative thinking can make an outstanding over the top ending without needing Disney to fund you. This film wanted an out there ending but imo failed, as we basically have a shot of a bunch of muppets standing around a pot.

The real issue I had with this film is that I wanted to like it. My viewing experience suffered from expectations. It didn't help that people have been trying to get me to watch it every Xmas for years now and kept telling me how great it was.

This is another one of those movies that I feel is just missing the mark. These films can be bad, these films can take themselves seriously, but a comedy horror christmas film, imo, needs to be fun. That is the key element missing here. I was just bored by the end.


Violent Night (2022)

This film is close to being great, but fails to lean into what it is. It is tonally warped and lacks that kind of self awareness required to pull off it's concept.

Santa is great in this movie. I mean serious good. This actor seems to be great in everything. Still, the problem I have with this movie is that it just doesn't commit to the idea of a badass Santa. Like Wolverine Origins the best part of the film is in these tiny flash backs to his past before he became Santa. Remember how in Origins there is this montage of Wolverine and Sabertooth going through time fighting side by side in all the wars throughout history... where was that film. Violent Night is similar as in the best thing about this movie, the reason we are watching, is; Santa. Santa. That is why we are here. and those tiny flecks of his past and lore are so much more interesting than the film itself.

The film also fails to really deliver on the gore as promised. I mean do not get me wrong it is violent but the violence is contained in nearly a single scene. So the majority of the film isn't violent. I paid to see Santa fucking people up and I got that for exactly one scene. Also, putting Santa fighting with a juxtaposed musical christmas song is just not good enough, it is cliche even. I mean Silent Night, Deadly Night was doing that back in the 80s. I just don't get it. Santa is basically a pagan Demi-God. There is so much cool shit they could have done alla Highlander and they even had the starting point of him being a germaic barbarian or viking or w/e.

Instead we get told in the 1st few minuets what this film is going to be... a gorier version of Home Alone. In fact the fact this is less a “Die Hard Santa” and more a “Gory Home Alone” makes me think that this film might have originally started as a Home Alone-like pitch.

I think this film has some good things, like the performances but lacks the writing to pull it off. Pro-Tip from a guy that watches a lot of media.. if you are going to have hardcore bad guys,.. make them hardcore. The 5th time they fail to carry out a threat makes them look lame. I lost count of the times they walked into the room yelled and shot up the ceiling only to be made fun of by their hostages. How about shooting one of them the face or something? Also if you have evil rich snob arseholes in a violent santa film.. how about they get a christmas coal if you know what I mean.

This movie just dose not know what lane it wants to be in, something Krampus understood completely. Splitting the movie between Die Hard and Home Alone was a mistake as well.

I think what makes this film not really work for me is that the “Santa” angle is completely irrelevant to the movie. It is just a hook they can put in the trailer. There is really nothing about Santa in this movie and the entire film would be identical (apart from one kill) if he was security guard or a christmas caroler who dropped by or a mall santa or something. The entire Santa angle was just weak and mostly superfluous to the movie, which begs the question.. what was the fucking point of making him Santa? Nothing. There was no point in him being santa as far as the story is concerned. Nothing beyond being a artificial hook.


Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

There is no doubt this is more the kind of movie I was looking for when I spent the night watching christmas films.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Shudder is low-key one of the best streaming services around. They do not over stretch and they know what they are selling. They service a smaller niche clientele and they stick to that niche's interests. It is a truly self aware service that understands the content they provide and more importantly understands their viewers, as in me. They seem to understand exactly what I most probably will like.

This is a super low budget slasher film with some truly atrocious acting. The thing is I believe in judging a film by what it is, not what it isn't. Is it fair to judge Fast and the Furious with the same bar you used for Barry Lyndon? No. Even Krampus and Violent Night by their very ambition invites stronger criticism than this film. They both might well be “better” films, but did I enjoy them more? Did they actually “work”. Is Christmas Bloody Christmas a film that achieves, in my eyes, what I believe the creators set out to do?

Short answer : yes, with a but.

This is a movie about a malfunctioning robotic Santa that murders everyone it comes across. It is a real throw back to the films of the 80s and early 90s and I found it to be quite charming in a nostalgic kind of way.

The movie starts pretty poorly imo. Basically we have this long and frustrating introduction to the characters where they basically argue about pop culture. bands, movies and the like while drinking. The thing is this isn't a 5 min scene in a Tarantino film. It goes on for what feels like forever. I think this extended period despite the delivery being decently handled by the cast had the opposite effect on me. I think all this chat and joke telling and stuff is supposed to endear the main character to us, but it had the opposite effect. I mean what a bunch of pretentious snobby arseholes. Loud drunk obnoxious arseholes at that. It isn't a good sign when you dislike the main character.

That being said, once the film gets into the robotic santa rampage it really picks up. By the end I defiantly had come around to out hero through some cool badarse-ery.

And this is where this film works. It, like its streaming service, knows exactly what it is, and then delivers on that. It is not trying to be something it is not, nor is it trying to over reach and be more ambitious than it can achieve. Absolutely horrendous acting, like the cops, in a way enhance this film. For this film is about a kind of viewing experience rather than the movie itself. If you are watching this alone and not Mystery Science Theater style with a vase of beer and a bunch of movie buddies, you are doing it wrong, and in that aspect this film is a rounding success, and I think it is pretty much the exact movie it was supposed to be.

So yeah.. Robotic Santa kills ½ a small town with a fire axe. You ALREADY know if you will like this movie before you ever hit play.

The Order of Awesome

  1. Violent Night (2022)
  2. Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)
  3. Krampus (2015)

Just signed up to this website.. still exploring.. this is just a initial test post to see how it all works. I'll probably delete this soon.