Not pursuing
I dreamt about getting birthday presents and notes from people. They mostly came from two groups, colleagues and high school classmates. For colleagues, I remember that D sent me a box of board game or something. For high school classmates, I vaguely remember TF seems to have written something, although we are not quite familiar with each other at all—And of course the notes are at very superficial level.
Most importantly, I dreamt about X again and his note. His note has some emotions in it. It feels like some kind of ambiguous relationship 暧昧 between us.
My interpretation of this dream is that when I was in high school, I did feel that there is something ambiguous between us. But since he already rejected me once in middle school, and said that we could only be friends, I didn't really have any courage to ask again. So this “not pursuing” is with me, for my fear of ruining my relationship with him, and my fear of my own embarrassment of potentially being rejected again, although that ambiguity feels so real.
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