Demi

I am an early 30s cis woman full service sex worker (or escort) in the UK and I am also asexual — read my day to day rants and raves here!

My Relationship with Menstruation May 29, 2017

(this was originally a post on Imzy’s Menstruation Station community)

Hey, I hit the join button very quickly when I saw this is an all gender-inclusive community about mentruation!

I just thought I’d introduce myself and my slightly unusual relationship with mentruation.

I am a full time full service sex worker (or escort) in my early 30s from the UK and so obviously having a period would be a bit of a job killer!

I do however have a few little tricks that stop me having to lose too much work.

Firstly I am on the pill and I run my packs together for as long as my body will allow, I usually get spotting after about 3 months so I know to take a break and let nature take it’s course. If I don’t take the break then the spotting will carry on unpredictably without a break which is inconvenient!

Due to being on the pill, my period/withdrawal bleed is much lighter and way less painful than before I started taking it, so this helps a lot with feeling up to working.

Also I swear by Beppy Sponges, which are synthetic sponge tampons that you just stuff up in there and they go unnoticed during sex etc and prevent any messy accidents!

I once had a client who saw me once a week for a few months and then made a comment about how I had never turned down a booking due to being on my period (a bit personal but y’know!) and I said it was because I run my pills together and didn’t let on that if I had been bleeding during a booking I would’ve had a sponge to keep things clean!

Anyway, that’s how I deal with my periods, if I could turn them off forever I would — I plan not to ever have children so it’s not like it’s serving much purpose in my life apart from inconvenience and expense!

Heated pads and chocolate to anyone currently dealing with their period ❤

Comments from original post and my responses:

Hi and welcome! :)

When I was younger I always wanted my period to go away and just go away forever. Then my ovaries started misfunctioning and now I’m grateful when I see the blood LOL

I never heard of Beppy Sponges but they sound interesting. Do you push them in like tampons or do they have to rest higher, closer to the cervix? I’m trying to picture how they work.

You have to push the sponge right up near the cervix, so it catches the blood before it comes down too far!

That is incredibly interesting!! Can you swim with them, do they hurt?

Yeah one of their big advertising points is that you can swim with them — which can be difficult with traditional tampons — I haven’t tried it myself but they are very good at preventing leaks even under, um, trying circumstances so I would definitely do so.

I’ve not found them to cause me pain, they can get pushed up a bit high so they can be difficult to remove but that’s about it — as you can see they have a little hole which you’re supposed to grab to pull it out, but it can take a few minutes of fiddling — I can imagine someone with long/fake nails have a lot of issues!

Just as an addition, a note about sponges in general in case someone here doesn’t know:

Don’t use sea sponges/”natural sponges”! When tested, they are usually found to include random bits of dirt with unhelpful/dangerous bacteria etc, including the stuff that causes toxic shock syndrome.

And if you have other sponges that are advertised as reusable, be aware that while lying around to dry, they provide rather good growing conditions for stuff that you don’t want in your vagina.

Yep this is very true — Beppy are synthetic and single use only, and carry all the usual ratings that standard tampons have to have.

The very thought of using a sea sponge or reusing any sponge to put in my vagina makes me cringe so hard I can’t believe any tries it!

Some posts from my old medium blog:

Gross Jun 3rd 2017

Message I once received from someone who I then blocked from contacting me:

Hi if I book you can we make a baby

Now this is just a gross thing to send to any escort but I'm very childfree so feel particularly nauseated by messages like this. I had a client before who, at the end of a booking, started asking if I'd consider donating my eggs cos he didn't yet have a kid with my complexion, I told him no and he text me later to ask if I was planning to have kids, which is so intrusive and gross and ew.

Do sex acts make you gay? Jun 2, 2017

I can’t stop laughing — a client just asked for strap on service with the words “Without sounding gay I’d like you to bring strap on, would like to experience that”.

Since when does a man enjoying a sex act with a woman make the man gay?

Why is straight cis masculinity so fragile?

‘My Airbnb flat was turned into a pop-up brothel’ — BBC News Jun 1, 2017

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39528479

Oh wow the people who booked this Airbnb were really awful — when I booked short term apartments I always left it absolutely spotless and made sure there was no evidence of what I’d been letting it out for. I mean I also always worked alone so I couldn’t have been accused of running a brothel (as the article says, in the UK escorting is legal if you work alone).

Discretion should be your middle name in this business.

Also the guy looking up their rates and seeing they charge £1300 a night so clearly they made £5000 between them while they were there, that’s very unlikely that they would’ve had overnight bookings both nights they were renting out the property — they probably instead had a string of shorter bookings.

And gosh the escort who is interviewed saying that she lost her house after doing a documentary and getting recognised by her neighbour, this is why you don’t do documentaries and magazine interviews, the journalists just want the juicy details, they don’t care that you have a life outside of escorting. Also your clients are going to be wary of you after that as they will realise you are a bit publicity happy — it’s like escorts who kiss and tell to tabloids about some famous person who booked them. Was the one off cash payout worth losing your clients’ trust? One thing clients are paying us for is for no strings and utmost discretion.

Reminded That I’m Ace-spec May 29, 2017

I had a reminder that I see sex somewhat differently to most escorts. I follow a forum where escorts support each other and chat about various sex work related topics, and one woman was ranting about clients who don’t know how to give oral sex properly.

Now, I generally feel that if a client wants to attempt to pleasure me then that’s just another service I offer and as long as they aren’t hurting me, even inept cunnilingus is fine — it’s just a bonus if they can make me orgasm but it doesn’t frustrate me if they can’t because it’s really about the client’s pleasure. And if they’re enjoying themselves slobbering away down there then that’s good!

But some women in the thread were talking about how they look foward to “getting properly laid” by a client, and I saw that I don’t have the same feelings about sex as a lot of other escorts because of being ace-spec.

I just can’t understand how you can feel fulfilled in a sexual encounter without an emotional connection, and it would be really wierd to have an emtional connection with a client, so yeah in bookings I have fun, and feel good if I make the client have a good time, but it’s just not real sex for me, just work.

Now, with a romantic partner everything is just better — you have open and honest communication and you care about them and you want to make each other feel good — that’s getting properly laid for me!