The Warubozu Usagi

11:47 pm

At the security gate of Decca, the 10th planet of Praxia

Decca Automated System: (in a pleasant voice) Unidentified starship 3W-M045, this is a secure planet. Please identify yourself and enter your passcode. Thank you!

WU: Hi, hello. Uh, this is the Black Flea. We're just dropping some stuff off for a friend. He said...

Decca Automated System: (in a very pleasant voice) Please identify yourself and enter your passcode. Thank you.

WU: I was getting to that. He told us the passcode is 7734-40.

Decca Automated System: (still in a pleasant voice) Please enter your ship's ID and your passcode on our mobile check-in site.

WU: (pulls out tablet) Oh. Sorry. First time.

WU: (enters code) And there we...

Decca Secure Check-In Site: (red error message flashing) So sorry, that's not the right code. Please try again. Thank you!

WU: Wait what? Okay, okay, let me see. There's a backup code in case that one didn't work.

WU: (enters backup code) That should do...

Decca Secure Check-In Site: (red error message flashing) So sorry, that's not the right code. This is your last chance before you're vaporised. Thank you!

Six security bots appear with rail-guns pointed at the Black Flea.

RP: (eyes glazed over seeing his life flash before his eyes) Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit...

SM: (panic faced) What the...?!? Cap, are we going to die?

S: (stern faced) Warui!!! Did you enter the codes wrong? I'm not going to die because you entered the codes wrong by accident.

WU: (calm faced) Chill everyone. I'll just back the ship out and...

Decca Automated System: (in pleasant voice) Starship, you are not authorized to move. If you move, you will be shot. Please enter the passcode. Thank you!

WU: (eyes glazed over) We're fucked.

RP: Oh god, oh god, oh god, what are we going to do? I'm too young to die!

SM: Shit, shit, shit, shit...

Syvil: (raging with death stare at Wu-chan) Temae!!!

Meri: (listening and watching the crew, walks over to Wu-chan) Wuuf?

WU: Yes Meri, we're all going to die! I'm so sorry girl.

Meri: (looks at tablet for a moment then stares into space) Wuf, wuf, wuf.

Decca Automated System: (in a very pleasant and calming voice) Starship, you have a minute to enter your passcode. Thank you!

RP: (covering his eyes) I can't look. Someone tell me when it's over.

SM: (goes over to RP and gives him a big hug) I got you covered, Red.

Syvil: (glaring at Wu-chan) Temae!!!

Meri: (calmly looks up at Syvil, then Wu-chan) Wuf.

Decca Secure Check-In Site: (with a pleasant voice) Congratulations! You have entered the correct passcode. You should be receiving auto-Map guidance now. Thank you and have a pleasant stay here on Decca! Goodbye.

WU: Did she...?

RP: I think she did???

SM: (lookin at Syvil)...

S: Don't look at me, I didn't program that into her.

Meri: Wuf!

WU: (rubs Meri on her head) Who's the good girl? You're the good girl!

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— The Warubozu Usagi