The Warubozu Usagi

11:57 pm

Off planet, in orbit around Ukio to avoid having to pay for parking

After watching the sunrise on Ukio, the crew of the Black Flea returns to space. Wu-chan, checking in with the Ulishia Gateway Authority, is wrong and there is a long line to gate out of the Ulishia system.

WU: Well, them's the breaks, yeah?

S: (sarcastically) Oh wow, who would have guessed?

RP: (raised eyebrow) I dunno, Cap. This feels more like user error.

WU: (feigning shock) Et tu, Brute? ... Tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. I say we make it tomorrow night sometime after dinner. You guys wanna have dinner in Tatamo? I know of an awesome ramen shop down there!

RP: Sounds good.

SM: Yeah sure.

Meri: Wuf!

S: (heavy sigh) ...fine.

WU: Yas! Done and done! What now?

S: Ooh. We still haven't gone over the plan to get into Jageda Industries and...

WU: (rolling eyes back into skull) BORING.

S: You'd rather get caught or die, do you?

WU: Syvil, we have soooooooo much time to do that.

S: (squinting at Wu-chan) Do we?

WU: Yeah! Look, we'll do it tomorrow afternoon before we head out for ramen. How 'bout that?

S: Fine.

WU: In the meantime...oh, I know! Who wants to binge watch the last season of The Walking Dead?!?

RP: That show is still going? What season are they on?

SM: 82? 83?

WU: Last season was 79. The show went on hiatus a couple of times but they keep finding ways to milk that story for every last drop of blood. This upcoming year is rumored to be the last, though!

RP: Count me out. I'm going to work on the fusion drives to up their output. Shoko, wanna join?

SM: ...

RP: I'll help you out with improving your quantum-time messaging computer.

SM: Deal.

S: I can help, too.

SM: Mmm, I don't think so, Syvil. Red's a better fit for the job.

(walking away with Red, Shoko side winks at Syvil)

S: Hey Meri, how about you let me work on your shell to...

WU: Syvil, you're hanging out with me. No work today for you. I mean, please hang out with me to binge The Walking Dead. Meri, you're joining us, too.

Meri: (looks at Syvil) Wuf?

S: (intrigued) Hmm. Okay sure.

(Wu-chan rushes off and three minutes later he reappears with a bowl of popcorn and a pair of Diet Half-Caf Kong Kola and the three of them plop down on the sofa to watch The Walking Dead, S79)

S: Ah geez. There's so much blood.

WU: I know. Amazing!

S: That's so twisted. How can a whole planet keep spawning zombies like that? Wait. Are we watching this because our next hop is to the Haunaloa system?

WU: What? No. Pure coincidence.

S: OH. MY. GAWD. You want to go down to Zed, don't you?

WU: Wow! Can you read my mind?

S: (face palm) Warui! We are not flying down to a zombie-classified planet.

WU: Aren't you curious?

S: Warui, there are no zombies. It's either a deadly, contagious viral outbreak planet or it's some secret government project.

(blood splattering on everyone in a scene reminiscent of Carrie at prom)

WU: (eyes bulging) Let's go check it out!

Meri: Wuuuuf.

S: No.

WU: We'll land, stare out the window for a bit, then leave.

S: (hit the intercom) Warui wants to land on Zed to look for zombies.

SM + RP: (over intercom) NO.

WU: Fine...fly by? We'll never come close to the ground. We'll just fly through and see if we can spot anything from the air. Totally safe!

S: Fine.

WU: You're not scared by zombies, are you?

S: What? No. I told you they're fake.

(on screen, zombies tear apart a robotic shell to eat the brains of a Hafu while she screams)

WU: Cool, cool.

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— The Warubozu Usagi