The Warubozu Usagi

23.36

On Decca in the Praxia system, docked at Spaceport 13F

The crew makes its way to the address of their “friend”, notably without their cargo.

S: You know this is a trap, Cap? Ooh, I like that — Cap trap. Warui, this is a Cap trap!

RP: Ha ha! Cap trap!

WU: Maybe. But we'll never know until we see for ourselves, right? And just in case, that's why we didn't bring the cargo with us — you know, as a bargaining chip. So, here's the plan. When we get there I want Red to...

SM: We're here.

(Expressionless, the crew gazes at an empty, barely standing warehouse.)

S: (turns to Wu-Chan with angry eyes) There's nothing here.

WU: I can see that.

S: No, you don't get it. There's nothing here. We procured the cargo and risked our lives to deliver the goods but there's nothing here. It was all fake. You fell for a fake. We wasted our time and money on a fake.

WU: (deflated, takes a big sigh and looks down at the ground) Shit.

(suddenly, and from no discernible source, a voice is speaking)

Unknown: Oh hey, you made it! Ha ha, I knew you were the ones who'd make it. Wow, hey kids, congratulations! You're the first to make it to this address!

WU: (excited that the warehouse isn't empty after all) Who are you?

S: Nevermind that. Where's our money?

Unknown: Right here, kids. Oh wait, I mean, not right where you kids are, but right here where I am at. I got your money, but I don't see the goods. Did you not procure them like I asked?

WU: (overly eager Yeah, we got it! I mean, ahem, yes, we have it, but we left it on the ship because we didn't know what the deal was after you gave us two bad passcodes. So, we left it behind on the ship. You kill us and you'll never get your cargo, mister.

Unknown: (laughing out loud) Ah ha ha ha! I'm so sorry about that. It was never about the cargo, but yes, I have your money.

WU: What do you mean it's not about the cargo?

Unknown: Yeah... this was a test. You're the first ones to pass!

SM: You mean, we're the first ones to survive?

Unknown: Well okay then Debbie Downer. Sure, if you want to put it like that...

RP: Oh man, that's horrible? Why would you do such a bad thing?

S: What the hell!?

Unknown: (dismissively) Ehhhhh. Nevermind that. I just doubled your payment. Better?

RP: Not really.

Unknown: So look, I have a waaaay bigger deal for you. This one is worth ten times more!

WU: Is this ten times the amount you initially owed us, or ten times the amount after you doubled our compensation?

S: Wu. Seriously?

WU: What, it can't hurt to ask.

Unknown: Ten times the amount after I doubled your payment. Check your account. I already deposited the payment without receiving the cargo. Happy?

SM: (pulls out tablet) Confirmed, Cap.

WU: Alrighty then! So, where do you want the cargo delivered?

Unknown: I sent you a new address. So, can I count you in?

RP: Nope.

SM: Nuh uh.

S: Definitely not.

WU: Yep.

Unknown: Great! Come by anytime tomorrow!

S: Wait, what? What the hell Warui?

WU: What? With the money, we can stop taking these types of contracts and just have some fun for once. And also, the Black Flea could really use some upgrades. Don't you want that soaking tub, Syvil?

S: Hello?!?! If the money's that good, the risk is that bad. I don't want to die.

RP: Yep, definitely want to live.

SM: Uh huh.

WU: Agreed, I don't want to die either. And we won't. We'll take precautions and make plans and all. Will it get hairy? Sure. Will we have close calls? You betcha. But, we're an awesome team!

WU: (looking back up in the air trying to locate the source of the disembodied voice) By the way, what was in the cargo that was so special?

Unknown: What? Oh. Coffee beans.

---

— The Warubozu Usagi