The Warubozu Usagi

3:41 pm

Overparked at Decca's Spaceport 13F, a day away from being impounded

The crew is standing inside an empty warehouse with their client in front of them and a vertical transport pod behind him.

Unknown: Hi everyone, I'm Doogé. So glad to meet all of you in person and thank you for delivering my coffee beans! Now, I'd like to acquire your services once again. And as unseemly as my actions appear, I had to test you to see if you were capable.

WU: Hello Doogé. May I call you Dawg?

Doogé: No, you may not.

(Syvil whacks Wu-chan on the arm)

WU: Okay, well Doogé, I'm Warubozu Usagi but you can just call me Captain.

Doogé: I shall call you Wu.

WU: How 'bout you call me Cap?

Doogé: Wu.

WU: Cappo?

Doogé: Wu.

WU: Cappy?

Doogé: Wu.

WU: Wu it is. This is Syvil, that's Shoko, and in the rear is Red.

Doogé: Hi, nice to meet you all. So, here's the plan. You come with me in my vertical transport pod to my place and I'll explain the whole deal and why I needed to test you. Sound good?

S: Nice try but we're not falling for the same trick twice, mister.

WU: (expressing consternation at Syvil before turning back) What she means is, we need assurances this isn't just a game with another trap.

S: No, I mean we're done here.

Doogé: (laughing in a jolly way) Ah ha ha ha! My deepest and most sincere apologies. I just dropped 10% into your account. Does that help?

SM: (looks at tablet, screen glowing gold) Yep, we just got...whoa that's a lot of money!

RP: (peers over and eyes glaze over) I, I, I've never seen so much money in our account.

S: (takes a look, then turns to Wu-chan) Meh. What'd I say, Warui? Kills us then steals from us.

WU: (walks back to look) Yatta! And that's just 10%?

Doogé: Yep. Hey, I got snacks. You want snacks? I got beer and Amaricka wine, too!

Crew: NO.

WU: Yes!

Doogé: Ah ha ha ha! You need parking validation? Free parking! I have a masseuse and a hot tub! Who wants to party in a hot tub!

Crew: NO.

WU: Yes! Partay!

Doogé: Ah ha ha ha!

RP: Why can't you just tell us the proposal right here?

Doogé: (pointing to eye and ear then up to the sky)

WU: (copying Doogé)

Doogé: Exactly.

WU: I don't get it.

S: (whacks Wu-chan on the arm) How are you not comprehending this?

WU: Well I'm sorry but I didn't go to sign language school.

S: (expressionless) ...

WU: ...

Doogé: There are tiny visual and audio recording drones the size of a plum flying all around us.

WU: Ohhhh.

WU: Guys, look, let's just hang with ol Doogie here.

Doogé: Doogé.

WU: Right. And we'll listen to the proposal over a meal then have some alcohol...

Doogé: ...just beer and wine...

WU: ...yeah beer. We'll have some beer while we talk about the proposal and I swear if the three of you still want out, we'll bail. Sound good, guys?

RP: Cap, I'll go where you go. Unless you go over a cliff and die. Or if you walk into a haunted house. Other than that, I'll right behind ya!

SM: Well, if Red wants to go, I'm in. Syvil.

S: Hell, I knew this would happen. Warui, I'm going to kill you if we die.

WU: Syvil, that's the oldest trope in the book, but, yay! Ikemashou, and away we go!

(and down the vertical transport pod they went)

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— The Warubozu Usagi