The Warubozu Usagi

9:00 pm

Under an hour out from Earth, from Mars

Prime (the name assigned to our solar system in 2070) is the only solar system where, because of frequent travel between the planets, each planet has its own wormhole gateway. The Black Flea would have normally wormholed between Mars and Earth. However, it's the holiday season and the Earth gateway is booked solid from mid-November through Chinese New Year. Instead, they flew the Black Flea on boosted impulse which cuts the normal 36 hour trip down to roughly 24.

RP: Are we there yet?

S: No.

Meri: Wuf!

RP: Meri, you're gonna love Earth. Amazing red sunsets with orange skies!

WU: The sunsets used to be yellow and the skies blue, you know.

RP: (winks one eye) Okay old man, whatever you say. What next, kids used to walk to school everyday without sunscreen?

WU: As a matter of fact, yes.

RP: Cap, you're only five years older than me.

WU: Oh no, not me. I once went down a rabbit hole exploring how people lived in New America and New Hawaii before they Great War. Get this: they used to post everything about their lives on this thing called “social media”.

SM: Oh, I've heard about that. Something called Tattler? Toddler? Toggler? Tooter?

WU: Twitter. That was the predecessor of this thing called Mastodon.

SM: That's right. Can you imagine having your world exist around a centralized network controlled by a megalomaniac?

S: You realize we're surrounded by megalomaniacs, right? Mandilet has a hive full of them, from the top all the way through their subsidiaries. I mean, we're breaking into one of them.

SM: (stands up and raises a fist) Long live the Black Flea and the flag of Anarchy!

(Red, Syvil, and Wu-chan follow, standing up and throwing a fist in the air)

RP, S, WU, SM: Wuf!

Meri: Wuf?

WU: Oh, sorry Meri. It means we've taken vows to be dawgs of anarchy to the very end: loyal, loving, and accepting of each other.

Meri: Wuf!

RP: Are we there yet?

S: No.

WU: Syvil, we haven't been back to Portlandia since we switched out to shells, right?

S: Yeah.

SM: No one's going to recognize us.

S: Good. I resented most of the people I knew, there. Stupid social stratification.

WU: So, if not for pistachio gelato...

S: Not just for the gelato. I like the rivers, the sunrise and sunset from Council Crest, and I miss picking wild blackberries all around the city.

WU: So, just the people.

S: Well, not all the people. Just, you know, most of my classmates I grew up with were stuck in social stratification and looked down on me for being an orphan. They'd congratulate me but they actually resented me when I'd win competitions.

RP: Are we there yet?

S: No.

SM: I want hazelnut chocolate gelato.

WU: Mmm. I'm going to have one scoop pistachio and one scoop maple brown sugar.

S: We're here, Red. Damn! Look at that stupid long queue for immigration.

RP: (ears drooped and sad-faced) Awww man. I want two scoops of strawberry shortcake gelato.

WU: This is why I hate coming to Earth. Oh shoot, did anyone fill out the agriculture form? Shoot, shoot, shoot.

S: (checks queue signage) Relax, we've got time. Sign says two hours.

WU: I'm making an executive decision right now: We're not leaving Earth without a gelato machine for the ship.

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— The Warubozu Usagi