The Warubozu Usagi

5:15 pm

Kita Nashiro Beach in Okinawa

Two days ago, Doogé called the Black Flea to check if they were still intending to perform the job.

Doogé: Hello? Are you hearing me? Hello, are you there?

WU: (sipping on coconut water) Oh hello D'gu, how are you?

Doogé: It's still Doogé. Just checking in on you. Where are you at?

WU: We've got the hibachi going while enjoying the sunset at Kita Nashiro Beach on Okinawa.

Doogé: Got some of those Okinawan sweet potato on the grill, do you?

RP: Oh yeah. Wouldn't come all the way down here and not grab some to put on the hibachi.

Doogé: Mmm. Beni imu. Umai!

SM: Hontoni!

Meri: (mouth full) Mmf!

Doogé: Say, I have another job for you. It's really easy. You in?

S: We haven't done the first one and you want to give us a second?

Doogé: Correct.

S: Why?

Doogé: I like you guys. Also, you're the perfect people to do this.

WU: We'll do it! What's the job?

Doogé: Bring me back 50 kilograms of that sugoii Okinawan sweet potato!

WU: Done!

Doogé: Excellent! Now, about the Jageda job...

WU: We're almost ready to go, we just...

Doogé: January 25. It'll be Chinese New Year and Jageda will be holding a holiday party at night at their facilities. I just sent you the perfect fake credentials. You're going as caterers.

(Computer chimes in: “You've got mail!”)

SM: Oh?

WU: So, we're going as caterers doing...

Doogé: You're the bakers and you'll be bringing desserts and a giant cake.

WU: Ooh, are we spiking the desserts?

Doogé: Not exactly. I'm overnighting a box of non-replicating nanobots. It looks like dust and tastes like sugar. You need to sprinkle them evenly over every item you're dropping off. You can't sprinkle them more than 15 minutes before you deliver them. They have a 3 hour shelf life, after which they start to disintegrate and taste sour. If you start seeing people throwing up, your time is up.

S: What do they do?

Doogé: They make people extremely pliant to suggestion. That should help you get into just about any place you need.

WU: Excellent! Wait, what about Hafu and Synthers?

Doogé: Doesn't matter. It works on both organic and inorrganic neurocircuits.

WU: Cool! Hey, maybe we should try it on each other?

S, SM, RP: NO!

Doogé: Yeah, the vomiting is unpleasant and a dead giveaway. Now, before I go, turn the screen to the sunset, would you? I haven't seen an Earth sunset in decades.

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— The Warubozu Usagi