- Stayed home in self isolation
- Hang out on IRC
- Streamed 3 sessions on Tilderadio
- Browsed 9gag
- Browsed Raddle
- Updated journal
- Updated gopher
My phone screen's flickering again.
What the heck?
I'm tired of reinstalling the OS and configuring this crap all over again!
Went to Govinda's to pick up lunch.
The devotee I used to do service with was passing by and came and paid obeisances at my feet. I didn't even see him coming.
He looked very sad.
Kept asking me why I wasn't picking up his phone calls.
I asked him how he was and he said his mother had just died this morning, and he was rushing to go back home.
I don't even have appetite anymore.
He looked thinner.
Now that he'll be gone for a while, I wonder who's going to do his services.
That's like 5 hours of standing and washing pots. The next guy's going to have a transcendental realization.
It dawned on me that I can be a very cold-hearted man.
Quite cruel too.
When I cut people off, it's instantaneous. I don't waste time talking.
I just block them out of my life.
So yeah, as extroverted as I am, I'm quite fine with spending time alone, rather than tolerating someone who brushes me the wrong way.
This is the last week of Kartika month.
I haven't been to the temple in 3 weeks.
And I don't feel like returning now.
I think my legacy's pretty solid. No matter how hard the organization tries to erase my memories, I'll always be that one guy that actually made a difference.
And what are they going to do? Recruit somebody else? Replace me with someone else? LOL
Do you know how difficult it is to make devotees? To transform karmis into devotees is no easy task.
It takes years of preaching and constant training to get disciplined devotees.
They won't get any locals to replace me. I can guarantee that.
Best they could do is import someone from another temple to come and serve here.
The most intelligent decision I've made in my 22 years in this religious organization, is declining initiation proposals.
I received my first initiation proposal when I was just 15. For the critics who think I'm just some guy yapping away, take notes.
When I was young, my parents didn't want me to get initiated. And when I turned 18, I found out all the dirty secrets that plagued the organization worldwide since the late 70's. Then I became very skeptical, especially after my questions about the truth were brushed off.
“Don't visit these sites on the internet. That's blasphemy and an offense to the vaisnavas.”
These sites exposed the conmen, crooks, women-hunters and child abusers hiding behind the garb of Sannyasis.
These are the people who demanded respect because they thought they were so highly elevated on the spiritual platform.
Since the 80's crisis, the organization has become expert in covering up scandals internally and maintaining gossip amongst the senior officials.
I saw news articles about X Swami and Y Swami involved in scandals but those don't happen anymore.
I think one of the reasons is because journalists and the media are now kept away from the organization. Another reason could be that the journalists became bored and gave up on the organization. “What's new? Another Swami blooped? Meh. Who cares? They're all fake anyway!”
I know many devotees who'll read this entry will think, “22 years and he's still not initiated? Something doesn't add up.”
I never understood the hype of initiation. So many devotees joined after me, got initiated, and disappeared shortly after. What's the point? Instead of jumping on the initiation tracks and kissing some bogus guru's feet, I think people should spend time reading Srila Prabhupada's books, understanding the philosophy and strengthening their faith in the scriptures. If this is done properly, one will be able to practice Krsna Consciousness even after leaving the organization.
In the 70's and 80's, many devotees got initiated within the first 2 years of joining the organization.
A lot has changed since then.
What's the current process of getting initiated?
You have to follow the 4 regs, read some books, pass an examination, sign forms, take vows, pay some fees?, attend Mangala aarti for 6 months or something, do some service, make some donations and be a humble yes-man.
The process for getting brahmana initiation is even more institutional.
Now you have to take the Bhakti Sastri course and pass the exam before being considered for initiation.
And the course isn't free. You have to pay for these courses. Just like any modern educational institution.
Except these courses have no value outside the organization. Nobody's going to pat you on the back for getting a certificate that's only valid within a religious organization.
You can't put that on your resume. You can't even brag about it to your friends.
“Hey guys! I just got my Bhakti Sastri certificate!”
So what? Get the f outta here!
I just got a Phd in Astrophysics, Master degree in CS, and a Bachelor in Electronics. They landed me a job at NASA. Where did your certificate land you? On the Vyasa asana? Conning people? Being a hypocrite while getting your feet massaged? Not bad. Not bad.
I guess Bhakti Sastri courses may be worth something if you want to climb up the GBC ladder at some point.
As far as qualifications are concerned, these senior devotees lack most of the Vaisnava qualities. They're just playing pretend, giving fake smiles and plotting their next diplomatic moves.
They've come up with a classic excuse for all these payments. Pay for a course, pay for an exam, pay for prasadam, pay for this, pay for that.
“It's not a payment. It's a donation. If we don't ask people to pay token money, they will not take it seriously.”
So it's all just a regular business at the end of the day. The fact that they just stamped it with Krsna Consciousness makes it all very spiritual.
The Govinda's restaurant here (that does not serve prasadam) just doubled the price of everything due to the pandemic. It's ridiculous.
And since the organization likes to brag about feeding the hungry and feeding poor kids and school kids, let me ask this: Why don't you feed the beggars sitting outside your temple everyday, harassing the pilgrims for money?
Beggars be talking about “I'm so hungry! Give me some money!”
Well, why don't you get some food from the Food For Life program run by the temple?
You know what? Maybe I should become a journalist and begin interviewing all these folks. Let's hear what they've got to say!
Oddware site's up.
Ben deleted my radio archive so it's a fresh start from now on. Hopefully there won't be too many broken streams to warrant it crappy.