I wanted to do something special for the end of the year, something like highlighting memorable moments or sharing my favorite photos from each month. Trying to stay personal while keeping the anonymity I’ve always intended for this profile. Things, however, are not always great, so I opted instead for a reflection on the events of this year.

Of course, 2025 was a direct consequence of 2024: a year in which I took a long break, made no plans, and simply spent time with my family after being away for many years. This year was different. I had been reintegrated into my home country and my family, and the stress of being unemployed for eight months began to hunt me. 2025 became a year of rebuilding from scratch (again) while staying calm and patient. Undoubtedly, it was a test of patience, but also a reminder that I am not alone.

I started the year in the best physical condition I’d had in years. I was exercising daily and hiking the summits of some of the highest mountains and volcanoes in the country. The year started with the same energy and everything went well until mid-February, when I think I pushed too hard and got a muscle tear that stopped me from hiking 'seriously' for about three months. I resumed in April, prioritizing distance over steepness, and about a month and a half later I was back in the mountains, completing some of my favorite routes so far.

Weekends were for hiking... weekdays were for trying to get a job. After many years in science, I was finally trying to ger a 'real job'. I built a CV tailored to data science and data analyst positions, wrote a base cover letter, and even opened a LinkedIn account. I'm sure I sent over a hundred applications. About 60% resulted in ghosting and the remaining 40% ended with essentially the same rejection email: “We have decided to move forward with candidates whose qualifications more closely reflect the requirements of the position.” It's fine, I am patient and I am working on it.

Becoming a data scientist or analyst at a large company was never the dream, though. For more than a decade, I’ve wanted to make a living from science. When I was 18, starting my bachelor’s degree, it was more of a boy's dream. Now I’m 30, and the idea is still there. I completed my bachelor’s, moved overseas for a master’s and a PhD, and letting that dream fade after all this time and effort (just because of a difficult year) felt like betraying myself. So I sent emails. About fifteen. It’s amazing how narrow the options become once you know what you actually want. Many were ignored, but some replies were thoughtful and kind, particularly from C. D.

In the second half of the year, I had two interviews: one with S. P. and another with A. A., so I began preparing my own research proposal. Gosh, it was tough, but I loved the process: shaping my own ideas based on discussions I had had during the last months of my PhD. My proposal with S. P. was rejected in November, though not for scientific reasons. With A. A., I submitted a proposal that was half mine and half his, centered on a topic of my personal interest. I should receive an update in about a month. It may be my last attempt at staying in science so I hope it works out.

Throughout the year, I also worked on several projects:

1) A visualization software for atomic and electronic density fluctuations, which I’m very proud of and which is available on my GitLab. I genuinely believe this code will serve me for future tools.

2) A computational code that I hope will become relevant next year (Initially an excuse to use Numba, later an excuse to learn Julia).

3) A program to visualize hiking data, including terrain topography based on public geographic datasets. It’s still messy, so it isn’t public yet.

I also made a few important changes. I finally switched to Fedora, continuing my distro-hopping journey. I deleted all my data from Google Photos and Drive, migrated more fully to Proton email, and started using Proton and Nextcloud services. Overall, I’m very satisfied with these changes so I guess fully abandoning Gmail will be a task for next year.

On a more personal note, I continued with photography. It’s not something I’m giving up; next year I want to focus more on artistic perspectives. I also started baking—pâte feuilletée being the star of the show. I’m not fully satisfied yet, but I’m clearly improving. Ah right! I began planting seeds as well, though I’m not entirely sure why. I guess because my coffee seed was successful even if after five months. Now I’m also taking care of cherry, guanacaste, colorín, tamarind, and belles de jour. I don’t know what will happen to them in the future, but for now, I enjoy caring for them.

This year was also iconic in terms of concerts: El Tri and Marilyn Manson. Seeing them live was a dream since high school, and somehow both happened this year. Along with Inspector and Residente last year, this pretty much completes my list of artists I wanted to see live. I suppose I’ll need a new list now, unless Slayer announces another tour :')

I don’t want to overshare. This year was notably different. I stayed home most of the time due to unemployment, but I tried to take advantage of it by doing things I might never have done otherwise. I acquired new skills and strengthened relationships with close friends, even though they are scattered across different places: B. N., P. A., and, of course, HC. Knowing we’re all going through similar struggles made it more bearable.

This year, two very close friends passed away within the same month. I won’t go into details, but I’m glad I was here and able to spend time with them. On April 4th, my 30th birthday, R. D. invited me out for drinks (the good ones for me) and he was the only person who invited me to do something. I don’t say this to complain about my other friends, but to emphasize how meaningful that moment was to me.

I can’t know what the next year will bring. I do have my goals ready, and I’ll be working toward them. I hope you do too.

________________________________ [auto] https://buymeacoffee.com/alam.os [auto] Or feel free to send me an email to letters[dot]as@pm[dot]me

[ This text follows the photo in here: https://pixelfed.social/i/web/post/636996303874614548 ]

In the past three years I've come to this place quite often, usually with a book and my camera, and if I don't forget it, something to eat and my coffee. I sit almost at the same place, open the book, read some pages and then look up to the scenery: the Denon wing of the Louvre, the pyramid, and a bunch of people passing by, taking photos, skating, talking, laughing, drinking, and even family members getting mad because other members are walking slowly, or because they didn't take their photo as they had idealized it.

I then resume my reading until I need another pause or something gets my attention. I look up to a group -or a couple- recording a dance, a tourist guide speaking spanish through a speaker, a photographer suspiciously wondering around in search of a target, a some-country flag, a batch of bikers finding their way among the people, or a wedding couple preparing for a photo shoot. I look around for a couple of seconds and then I continue my reading.

Pages later I look up again to the same building and the same pyramid. I hear different languages and complains, and I see different faces, and different flags. Different photographers, and different guides with different tourists. Different skaters and bikers, and different brides with different grooms. Everyone is different from twenty minutes ago, but they fill all the empty slots the previous visitors left. I close my book and look around. I put it back in my bag and I wrap my camera's strap around my wrist. I get up and start walking away. I take few steps and without any suspense someone fills the slot I left behind.

Another day.

I come to the same spot, I open the book I brought and start the reading until it is the moment to look up to the scenery. It's been days -weeks and months- and the visitors haven't left any vacant slot. I wonder what the previous visitors could be doing now, and if among all the sea of people I see, if someone I've vaguely seen previously has clocked in at the same time I did today. I close my book and look around. I don't feel like reading so I sign up for a different position. I take my bag and walk around.

Someone smiles at me and I smile back. I keep walking. Someone asks me to take them a photo with their cellphone and so I do it. We exchange some words and then I keep walking. I try a different scenario, I go to Jardin des Tuileries but I might also go to Musée d'Orsay or l'Orangerie, so I stay away for a couple of hours.

Before the day is over I come back to fill the slot that by now someone else was occupying. I sit and before opening the book I brought I look around just to notice everyone is there: the tour guides, the bikers, the kids, the dancers and the annoyed visitors. I take a mental photograph and I proceed to open the book and read few more pages before my journey ends.

________________________________ [auto] https://buymeacoffee.com/alam.os [auto] Or feel free to send me an email to letters[dot]as@pm[dot]me